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Updated: 4/11/2021 | How to Deal with a Smear Campaign by a Narcissist

Let them gossip! What others believe about you is not important.

We are taught to believe that if someone hates us, it is because we did something wrong. Normal people would try to communicate with one another to resolve their tiffs.

With a narcissist, it does not work that way. Narcissists will gossip about to others in order to gain sympathy and make you look bad. It’s one of their signature characteristics.

For all our resources on narcissism and abuse, visit Fuck the Abuser and follow us on Instagram.

What is a Smear Campaign?

The smear campaign can be a tough spot to be in because the person who once loved you is now attacking you ruthlessly. The smear campaign is one of the many tools a narcissist will use in order to try to manipulate, control and/or devalue you. 

When a narcissist does a smear campaign they try to gain bystanders and sympathy by looking like a victim or hero instead of the inhuman narcissistic abuser they actually are.

Related: How to Identify a Covert Narcissist

What you need to understand and keep in mind when regarding narcissists is that they are gossipers because they have no lives. My narcissist mom and narcissist ex-boyfriend (AKA “nex”) constantly talk about others to make them feel better about themselves or to get people on their side.

So what happens exactly during a smear campaign?

The narcissist will portray you in an untruthful manner. This could include being crazy, unstable, an addict, cheater, bipolar, a gold digger, insane, alcoholic, and many other colorful phrases.

They will create numerous lies, exaggerations, suspicions, half-truths, and false allegations about your character and behavior. They craft their lies so that it is convincing to others (oftentimes who don’t even know who you are) and will leave out a lot of details about how they were abusive and how you reacted to their abuse.

For example, I was called a bitch and spoiled brat by one of my narcissists’ flying monkeys. When I confronted him about what she said to me via Facebook messenger, he said he had said nothing and that he told her not to talk to me.

What a LOAD of bull.

Related: Glossary of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) Terms

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Stop Abusing People (@fucktheabuser)

Why do Narcissists Engage in the Smear Campaign?

They gossip and spread rumors about you because they want to earn the trust of others by seeming the victim. Remember that they are the perpetrators of cruelty and you need to use your voice to stand up for yourself.

Another reason why they engage in the smear campaign is because they have been found out and will do what they can to convince people that YOU ARE THE BAD GUY. This is so that they continue their bad behavior on people who have no idea what they are capable of. It is a form of damage control for the narcissist because you have them figured out.

They will continue trying to convince others of the costume they wear to cover up their abuse and toxic behavior.

Those who believe and side with narcissists are known as flying monkeys or new supply/victims. People who know how evil narcissists are and side with them are also complicit in the abuse.

passively accepting evil is just as bad as someone perpetrating it narcissist quoteAnd the saddest thing is that narcissists will continue to behave this way until they go to the grave.

A normal person would approach and communicate with you. They will attempt to resolve things, not destroy your character and reputation.

Narcissists are drawn to empathetic people because they lack empathy within themselves. We are bright shining souls that they are attracted to.

Remember that they were attracted to you in the first place because of all your positive qualities.

Being with a narcissist oftentimes makes you forget how bright your light shined. 

And because they cannot shine bright, they want to smudge, smear campaign, destroy and demolish your image. They will try to take you down to make their image seem better.

Related: Glossary of Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) Terms

In their childish mentality, they are thinking “I can’t be like you or have you, SO I WILL DESTROY YOU BY TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOU.”

It is so laughable at who they smear your name to people that even the narcissist barely knows or is using as supply. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

How Should I React to a Smear Campaign?

Naturally, we want to prove the narcissist wrong. Attacking them and defending yourself to others only proves that they are important. This also potentially feeds into the fake persona the narcissist has created of you. Narcissists want you to react so that they can use that reaction against you. 

Remember that they are parasitic until the end.

The best thing to do is go no contact and use your voice to heal and help others. Use that time to work on yourself instead of fueling into the narcissist’s smear campaign against you.

Don’t fuel the narcissist with your attention. That is exactly what they want. Let them starve by not giving a fuck. You’ve already wasted more than enough of your time.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Stop Abusing People (@fucktheabuser)

Stay in Touch!

Dealing with a smear campaign can seem daunting at first. But when you realize why they do it, it’s easier to comprehend and let things progress. Eventually, people will see the narcissist’s true colors and realize how pathetic they truly are.

We are always here for you. If you want to share your story, please feel free to e-mail us!

For all our resources on narcissism and abuse, visit Fuck the Abuser and follow us on Instagram.

If you found our post on how to deal with the smear campaign helpful, please share it on Pinterest. Thanks for your support!

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Author

Alex Tran AKA Schimiggy is a fitness fashion, travel, justice, and food-obsessed raconteuse. She currently resides in Seattle and teaches yoga while writing her heart out. Schimiggy Reviews is a lifestyle blog where Alex shares her passions and interests with the world!

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