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Let’s go through a dive into what trauma bonds are, how to identify that you are trauma bonded, and how to stop being trauma bonded.

For all our resources on narcissism and abuse, visit Fuck the Abuser and follow us on Instagram.

What is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonds are characterized by intense up and down moments in a relationship. These moments cause your brain to become addicted to the highs.

Trauma bonding is often associated with narcissistic relationships because of their addictive patterns of behavior when chasing their supply, or source of validation.

Healthy relationships give a steady supply of dopamine. Trauma bonding withholds it and then gives you a sharp and sudden increase, causing the victim to continue chasing after the good moments.

Stockholm Syndrome is a type of trauma bonding.

Trauma bonds are when you are addicted to a toxic person and is often associated with those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Signs that You are Trauma Bonded

  • Constantly breaking up and getting back together
  • Promising things will change but they never do.
  • Feeling like you’ve been through so much just to throw away the relationship.
  • Feeling like you will die if you’re not together.
  • Feeling completely in love and then hating the other person for causing you so much pain.

How to STOP Trauma Bonding

  • Leave the relationship and go no contact if possible. You may feel like dying during the breakup.
  • Get therapy! Find a professional who will help you create a treatment plan and heal from narcissistic abuse. 
  • Reach out to friends and surround yourself with people who love and care about you. Find friends whom you know will go out of their way to NOT HURT YOU.
  • Find a support group online or in person. We have found plenty of groups on Facebook.
  • Educate yourself. Read all the NPD books and websites available to you.
  • Document all the bad times and revisit them when you feel the urge to go back to the abuser. I wrote down everything he did to me on my blog and in a Google document. I revisit them often to remind me of how awful and emotionally abusive he was.

For all our resources on narcissism and abuse, visit Fuck the Abuser and follow us on Instagram.

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Alex Tran AKA Schimiggy is a fitness fashion, travel, justice, and food-obsessed raconteuse. She currently resides in Seattle and teaches yoga while writing her heart out. Schimiggy Reviews is a lifestyle blog where Alex shares her passions and interests with the world!

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